I'm back...For now!

  I haven't posted here for a long time. In fact i hadn't even thought about this blog for months, forgot i had even done it. But today i felt like writing. When i wrote on this blog before yes it was an outlet for me but mainly i was trying to write what i thought people would think was interesting. Well this time i'm writing for me so if its boring then meh so be it. If it makes me feel better that's what matters right?

 I have decided to try and make myself a better person. This isn't self pitying crap, it's a fact. Sometimes i can be fucking hell to be around and i intend to change. I want to be better for me, for my son and for my partner. But mainly for me to be honest. I know that sounds selfish but it is actually probably a good thing. You can only change if you TRULY want to. You have to do it for yourself or you never really change at all, you just get better at masking it.

 I drink too much. I know i do. I have issues which are only made worse by the drink that i use to try and find solace from my issues. Lol how stupid is that? Trying to medicate myself against myself by drinking and it only makes the issues worse! Today i am waking up. I have been drifting in a sea of self pity and fear for too long and now i am kicking myself in the ass and getting my shit together. 

 So, i guess this is going to be kind of a diary of me getting my shit together. If no-one reads it then its no biggy, in fact its probably better that they don't because i am going to be brutally honest as much as i can. If you are reading this then umm hi! thanks for reading and i hope you don't fall into a coma from the boredom! :p

 There is a distinct possibility that i will stop writing here again. I have a bad tendency to flit between hobbies etc. I will find something new, get completely sucked into it almost to the point of obsession and then all of a sudden lose interest and stop doing it just like that. So, um yeah, enough rambling. This is my blog, if you are reading it then welcome to the ups and downs of me (unless i get bored or something!)